From Survival to Self-Mastery: A Mom’s Transformational Story

Megan and Sarah discuss the transformative impact of NLP training on their personal lives and their desire to help others. They highlight the addictive nature of the Big Six process in clearing up old emotional baggage and the importance of prioritizing self-care and emotional intelligence in motherhood.

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Transcript:

Megan Blacksmith  

Hey there, welcome. Welcome to the becoming zesty podcast. The place for all of our zesty friends. This is Megan today. So happy to have you here. Alex and I just recently completed another it was our fifth seven day practitioner training in person where people leave with four certifications. And we had our biggest group yet. And we had a co Ed group, which was super awesome. The masculine and the feminine integrating into the container was very cool for us to see many of the participants, the women there said I’m so glad that there were men in the container as well. It just changes the energy. And I know that it allows people to have breakthroughs in different ways because the people in the container themself often represent someone. So I had someone when I very first did my training when I was a participant and we were partnered up and when she looked at me she said I can’t work with her. I’m like here I am like the Peacekeeper back then super people pleaser still. kind to everyone I thought like, oh my gosh, she’s immediately rejecting me and I looked like her stepmom, her evil stepmom, the person in her life who had caused all of the trauma was a redhead looked like me. And she didn’t want to work with me. And guess who got to work together? We did, because I was the perfect mirror to actually help her break through that and be a safe space because I am not the evil stepmom. So it is cool to have all types of people, all genders everything in our trainings because of that. And people say that over and over again, I will always partner up with the perfect person to break through that thing I needed to break through. Every time we did this training, it does get the breakthroughs get bigger and bigger, which is so cool. And I think it’s because the power of the mind. So it’s why we share stories today. Like I’ll share Sara’s of people who have come to our training in the past, and then what they’ve done with the process, how they’ve improved their life, how they’re working with other people with it. And so we hear the stories, and then the stories get into us and it becomes possible for us to so each group is standing on the shoulders of the last and each group is having more and more transformation crazy stuff. And we were joking because in the group that Sarah was in, whole group of them had so much they were so bonded as a training that the whole training decided they were going to get bracelets and they got matching bracelets that have the coordinates of the training house on it, and they call themselves the circle of possibility. It was such a cool thing. And then now in this last training, there was a group of people who decided to get tattooed. So it has been upped Sara it as it is now to the level of tattoos so we were blown away by this that someone would want to lock in the transformation in their connection with a Tete do something so permanent. And it does show the power and connection that can happen in just one week when you fully step outside, step outside of your normal environment and into a different place. So I want to have you here from Sarah today, someone who attended our training over a year ago, and just where she is now and what she’s doing, how she’s used this and how it’s impacted her life, I know, you’ll really resonate, many of you will really resonate with her story, especially if you are a mom. So Sarah is a subconscious re programmer, and speaker passionate about bringing her clients, Catholic moms to the greatest potential God has made for them. So she has a program called self mastery for moms, which has a three part group series. First part is mastering stress, second part emotions, and the third is boundaries. So who needs that? I know a lot of us do. Okay, so let’s get into the interview. All right, Sara. So my first question for you is what got you interested in functional NLP? And how How did you even find us?

Sarah  

I had my second kid, I think he was like six months old. And my health was just kind of a wreck. And I, I was stressed all the time. I saw my husband had suggested I work with a health coach around it was like May, that’s when he was six months old. The baby, not my husband. And at first I was like, I know all this stuff. Like, I don’t need help. I’m gonna do it myself. Like, I know all these things, I can do it. And then over the course of a few days or a week, you know, probably riding that emotional wave, which I know now I was like, Maybe I’m not doing it because I do need help. And like, maybe there is something I don’t know. And so that health coach, a big focus of his was parasympathetic. He didn’t phrase it as such. But he had these deep breathing tracks that he had all his clients use multiple times a day. And I think that more than any dietary changes or anything, it helps me just get to a better place. And one of my good friends was like, oh, yeah, the zesty gender podcast, like they’re doing some cool stuff. I’m like, oh, yeah, those chicks, I forgot about them. And you were doing your personal transformation series, like your whole story. And I guess it was just for the right moment. And I started listening to it. I’m like, Oh, my gosh, like, I want this. And at the end, you got to though, like, and we do this, like, this was my breakthrough at the NLP training. These are the breakthroughs we see in our clients in our trainees. And I was like, I want that. Like, it’s for practitioners. And I’m like, I’m not a practitioner, but I need to go to this. And of course, you had the line of like, and for any leader, anyone in their life, like it’s for you. And so yeah, I was like coming out of that. Grid gritty, like, just claw my way through the day survival mode just a little bit. But like, the health coaching, like it got me to the next step, but it wasn’t getting me to where I felt good and where I felt like myself and where I felt totally fulfilled. And then I heard about your training. I was like, that’s, that’s the thing. That’s the one.

Megan Blacksmith  

What do you think it was? What do you think it was about? That was it that you knew there was something deeper underneath what drew you to that specific training?

Sarah  

The thing that I remember hitting the most in your series was talking about doing releasing the Big Six with everyone, and you’re like, the looks on their faces, like, they were just different humans in front of me. And I was like, I want to be a different human. Like, I guess I could feel that there was something misaligned within me that was just like, on top of who I was supposed to be, and that this just really felt like the way to get to that. And, you know, I think it was it was the way you talked about it. You know, it wasn’t like yeah, and come out and seven days will change your life. It was like, Holy crap, like the transformation is incredible. And you’ve been through it and they’ve been through it. And I’m like, me too.

Megan Blacksmith  

And you knew at this point, you wanted to help more people are at this point where you’re like, I just want to come for myself. So you have two children at this point. Yeah,

so that’s a yes and a no. So I wanted to come to the training for myself and I had, I already had this dream kind of in the background of, of opening, a Catholic and holistic, functional mental health retreat center. And that’s still kind of like my pie in the sky goal. So like I always knew, I’ve always felt like, I want to change the world, like, kind of energy. And so for this particular training, I was like, Oh, well, that’s gonna be that’s like way, way off in the future, like, this training is just for me. But I think this is the step to get there. So I knew that it was what I needed to do to make that dream possible. But that was like something I’d be doing in 10 years kind of thing. I wouldn’t be I like coaching wasn’t on my radar.

Megan Blacksmith  

And then at what point was it because I know you left. When

Sarah  

I did live with a client, I actually won our sales challenge, which I was so unlike my previous identity, like, I can’t make a sale, I don’t sell things. I don’t get clients. So

Megan Blacksmith  

actually, let me just share for everybody to understand it’s like, within a week, when Sarah can, you can’t, when you came to the Training within a week, these tools are so powerful. And the tools are the tools. And we also want people who want to go use them to have some kind of structure of like, you could go to a break through with this right away. And so for the people who are like, Okay, let’s do this, we say, Hey, who do you know, who would benefit from this? And maybe you can already have a client before you leave. And some people do it, some people don’t. So Sarah did with no business, you had no business setup, not even necessarily a plan to do business and left with a client and won the sales challenge, which essentially means she brought in the most money during the week. So that was a super cool transformation. Yeah,

Sarah  

that was that was pretty huge. It’s, it’s cool to remember that because one of the things that happens, as you know, when you’re in this work, like you move so fast that you can forget who you used to be. And it’s like, oh, that like, it doesn’t even exist anymore. So it can be we have to stop along the way to to actually recognize what we’ve done and achieved. So what was your original question? You asked about? Something with the the client?

Megan Blacksmith  

Oh, the question was, when did you decide that this was something that you could potentially do? To make money? Or to have people working with you in that way versus just for your family?

Sarah  

Yeah, I remember. So I think it was after leaving the Big Six with my partner. And

Megan Blacksmith  

actually, that made us pause. So for people are like, What the heck is the big make sex and big six? Boy. The Big Six is clearing, anger, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, and shame, we are obviously going to have those emotions forever. What we’re doing is we’re getting anything that still tied to the past that we have an inappropriate or unwarranted amount of those emotions. So it’s a way of clearing up old stuff. So that when something happens in the moment, we are actually only acting on that event versus like the 10 things, the 10 other things where we felt guilty about so it’s a process that we do, everyone is trained in how to facilitate. And in the process, you also receive it so Okay, continue. Sorry. So the big six. Yeah,

Sarah  

and I’ll touch on what I was saying. A second i as you’re talking, I remembered kind of what appealed to me so much about the big six. So I’ve been through many, many versions of like traditional therapy in my life. And I kept coming to these therapists saying like, Hey, I had this thing happened in my childhood, or like, I just feel this way. And I think that’s why I feel depressed now. Like, I think that’s why I don’t like my life. And they’re like, Yeah, okay. And maybe we talk about it for 2030 minutes or a session and like we move on, but it still felt unresolved. And so when I heard about, like, oh, you can go back and release these stuck emotions, the disproportionate emotions that are acting in your life now I’m like, oh, that’s what I’ve been looking for. And I think it was, it was that that really pulled me in. And then it’s just such a powerful process, especially within the context of the seven day training because like so much is coming up for every one and like, you really do have that sense of safety of it’s, it’s okay to go deep, it’s okay to really heal some stuff. And my client, not my client, I guess she was my client, my partner ended up getting stuck in a trauma response, which is something that you and Alex mentioned in the training like, hey, this can happen. It’s extremely rare, you’ll probably see it maybe once in your whole career. And I had also come in with this intent of like, hey, the mental health center, and kind of this desire to be able to bring diamonds up from the earth, like the rough diamond from below the soil and bring people who are the diamonds to their full brilliance, which is, it’s a process, it’s an earthing. And so when that happened with her, of course, the trainers came in to support me because I’d never seen it. And I was the main person who facilitated that and got her out of it and got that enormous release. And I’m feeling tingles, just remembering it now. And it was just such a massive breakthrough for her. And for me, it was like, Oh, my gosh, I can do this, like, I can do this. And I can change people’s lives now, like not in 10 years. And once you felt that, at least for me, it’s it’s kind of addictive. It’s like it, but in a really good way. Like, oh my gosh, I can I can help bring people to their full brilliance. And I am powerful. That feels good.

Megan Blacksmith  

That’s so awesome. And so tell me a little bit about how you’ve used the tools for your personal health and life. And I end specifically around pregnancy and birth, because it’s really important to us. I mean, I have my own, like birth pregnancy stories. And for me having these tools to really clear out some of the things that had happened. And also having tools going into a future one are very important because it can make or break how that experiences. So tell me a little bit about what that how that impacted you.

Sarah  

Absolutely. So my first two pregnancies were kind of horrible. I had hypoglycemia the whole time for not really any reason anyone could figure out. So basically all day every day, my blood sugar was fluctuating crashing, no matter what I did, no matter what I ate, so I felt nauseous and sick all the time. And I couldn’t really do anything. Like once I was pregnant with my second kid, I couldn’t take care of my my oldest because I was so sick. And part of that was really hard. Because I was like a healthy person, I really cared about diet and nutrition and all the things before so I had this perfect plan of how my pregnancy would go. And that was immediately just Dash. And I gained 50 pounds with each pregnancy. And then my first two pregnancies were back to back, I got pregnant seven weeks postpartum with my second kid, and I didn’t even realize that I was fertile. So all these things coming back like, well, you don’t really know like how to take care of your body, you don’t know what’s good for you. So that was really hard. And what ultimately shifted those things for me to have a good and easy third pregnancy. It wasn’t like going paleo or cutting out gluten or sugar. It was addressing the beliefs that I had around receiving help and love. And before I went through this process, I thought I had to be sick or drowning, metaphorically to receive help or to be loved the way I wanted to. And it was patterning from my childhood, which still wasn’t true, but my brain believed it was true. And I remember part of this came from too I was in the online space for a while talking to other traditional whatever that means, like stay at home moms like trying to do the homestead husband goes to work wife stays at home thing. And I remember asking them like, Well what happens when you get sick? And they’re like, you just tough it out. Like you just, you’re barfing and you’re taking care of your sick kids and like that’s just what it is. And one of them and even even broke my heart a little bit for her. She talked about how she had the flu and she had her two little kids. I think they were babies and toddlers. And she called her mother in law who lived down the street was like, Please can you come help and her mother in law was like Sorry. It’s just like, You got to be tough. You got to tough it out. Wow. Yeah. And I think that older generation, they did have to tough it out for reasons that were outside their control. And so they, they kind of gave those beliefs to the next generation. And when I got pregnant, I remember being so scared and thinking, like, I’m not ready to not have needs anymore. And when you when you listen to that question, it’s like, What do you mean to not have needs anymore, you’re, you’re a human, you’re alive, you don’t have that option. But for a lot of us, a lot of us moms, or if you’re a caretaker of any kind, I think we have this idea that, hey, you’re kind of done. Doing for yourself resting, getting help, like, time for you to just give, and you just can’t do that infinitely. And so in order to protect me, my unconscious mind produced this hypoglycemia, it produced, this pregnancy that I literally could not sustain without help. It produced a situation where my husband gave me more affection. And my in laws gave me more support. And so I could get those needs met, because we have those needs. And in the process of doing the transformation coaching, I, I processed a lot of that stuff, I released it, and I decided that I wanted to get those needs met in a different way and to be healthy while doing them to be to be able to receive help and love from a place of thriving and owning that that is okay. And that that is good.

Megan Blacksmith  

I love that. And then how do you show your children that, Sarah? So is there a level of now modeling? Like how does that show up in different in the day to day? So you have three kids under three, right?

Sarah  

Yes, yes. So one of my, my favorite aspects of this is doing parasympathetic tools with them, because it’s so funny and so cute. Because so two of my favorites to do our legs up the wall, which is you know, you literally put your butt against the wall and your legs up. And the other one is going into peripheral. So for anyone who’s listening who’s never done it, you look at the where the the wall on the ceiling meet, and you’re kind of putting your hands out to the side of your head to literally expand into your peripheral vision when you’ve gotten stuck in tunnel vision. And whenever I do it, my kids who my toddlers, at least they look at me and they’re like, ah, they have their hands out in front of their face. And they’re like wiggling their fingers. And it’s really fun. And then whenever I put my legs up the wall, like they want to do it too, and we count our toes and you know, they’ll pull my socks off because Mommy I can’t see your toes. And I’ve also taught him to scream into pillows. I like the way I talk to them about their emotions is really different because it’s not. You need to be quiet. You can’t like stop feeling sorry, like you’re fine. Like I don’t, I don’t do that stuff. What I will do is, say my daughter’s throwing a tantrum, we have guests over or even even not. And I’ll say you’re really upset right now. You’re, you’re mad that you’re not getting ice cream. Like I appreciate that. And if you need to keep screaming and crying about it, you can finish doing that in your room or outside. So I’m holding the boundary of like, you don’t get to terrorize us with your tantrum. And also her experience is real. I’m not going to try it. I’m not going to tell her she’s too much or too loud or she’s wrong because her experience is very real to her. And they can exist together. So there’s all of that and just I really am showing up very very differently for them because my body has a baseline of calm now that did not exist before I can get back to it pretty quickly. And if I can’t then I know I need to step away more but I was operating and just like constant fight or flight and I didn’t even know it that’s yeah, that’s been really huge that and also really dropping a lot of The guilt around rest around being away from them. Right now someone else’s taking care of them. So I can be here and they’re loving every second of it. Our nanny is like, a cross between Mrs. Doubtfire and Mary Poppins, she’s actually she’s amazing, and they love her. And I’m able to just let her take care of them. So I can do something for me. And for whoever’s listening to this, who needs to hear it? That’s been really huge for me.

Megan Blacksmith  

What about other moms? Is there anything you would any thing you wish other moms would know? Or tools? Or, like, what would be the biggest takeaway from kind of, it’s cool, because you stepped into this transformation before, you know very early on having kids, whereas I kind of had like, a child and lots of years with the first one before finding a lot of this work. So for moms who are like don’t even know that this world exists, what would you say to them?

Sarah  

Absolutely, that’s such a good question. Because we can feel like oh, no, it’s too late. But it is literally never too late. It is never ever too late. I truly believe that. If you’re 60 years old, and your kid is 35, or however old and you did something that you don’t, that you wouldn’t do, again, when they’re growing up, or even their entire childhood, you can still go back and make repair, you can still go back and say, Hey, I, I didn’t like the way that I did that. I didn’t like how it went because from the child’s perspective, as a daughter, like I always would be open to hearing that I would always want to hear that. And maybe that’s not true for everyone. But I think I think for the most part, our kids always want to know, like, Oh, she really did love me in that circumstance. Like it wasn’t about me, it doesn’t matter how old they are. And even to with my own mom, this work has has really helped to heal our relationship. And my I have one big T childhood trauma that was around her, she had an accident, mental health issues when I was three, lots of my limiting decisions and stuck emotions originated there. And growing up my teenage years, my 20s, like our relationship just was, it wasn’t great. It was very, like, I was destined, it was not very personal. And as an adult with my own kids doing this work, we have developed a real relationship. And I actually talked to her. And honestly, she didn’t do anything different. I was just different. And because I was different than she was different. And our relationship could be better. So I’m 32 now and I started doing this, I think when I was 30. She’s 60 something. And it’s still good. It’s still super fruitful. So there is no too late.

Megan Blacksmith  

Huh, that’s cool. And so, mental health, I know that that’s an important area that you are wanting to shift and change. And I know that you’re a fabulous speaker, and someday you’re gonna have your retreat or your center. So what are you hoping? What are you hoping? Or what are you thinking is missing as far as mental health goes? And what are you hoping that like subconscious reprogramming could? could do?

Sarah  

I think looking at the whole human is missing. And that’s one of the things I love about the work you and Alex do is like the four bodies, functional NLP you have. You have to take care of your physical body and your emotions, your mind, your soul, they matter and your physical experience and that that is really what I want to bring to people I think in the in the mental health world, more of a holistic approach is coming in. And that’s how I broke out of my own. I had a psychotic break. You’re free from this in 2016 and was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. And I was able to pull myself out because of some functional things and they did address the spiritual side of things. I don’t think the emotion means we’re really addressed, that’s a big missing piece for a lot of people is actually how to feel unprocessed emotion. So really bringing it all together. And never seeing someone who’s too broken. Like I was supposed to be schizophrenic, you are free from this to, like, I have literally no fear that anything like that is ever going to happen. Like, it’s just so far from my identity. Now, I’ve done so much healing.

Megan Blacksmith  

But that is something you were told.

Sarah  

It wasn’t like, hey, for sure. It was like, yeah, like three out of four chance, like, you’re probably going to be schizophrenic. I was told that in the hospital, because of my diagnosis was schizophrenia form, which is like, not quite fully there. But most of the signs.

Megan Blacksmith  

And did you immediately reject that Sarah Are you have come to reject that

Sarah  

I have come to reject that for a full year. I was like, I guess I’m just broken. And like my, I’m just, I had this really deep dream of having kids I didn’t at the time, I didn’t have them. I wasn’t married, I was in a pretty bad relationship too. And I really didn’t love the idea of being pregnant on psych meds like that really didn’t sit well with me. And then I also had this, the man I was with at the time was like, well, your kids are going to be crazy, because you’re crazy. Legally. He’s out of my life now has been for a long time. So it took me a full year of just really, really being down on myself. Just really feeling unworthy. And like, I was just delta, bad card and life and there was no, no way to change that. And I really think it was my guardian angel just whispering in my ear. Like, that’s not true. It’s not true. Because just literally one day. I think it was on the day that I had an appointment with my doctor to like the medication management stuff. I just started feeling and hearing like, maybe that’s not true. Maybe, maybe there’s something more maybe you’re actually fine. And I think once I heard that, and I kept hearing it, I couldn’t unhear it. And I didn’t want to unhear it because it was so much juicier than all the other things I was thinking. And I think I think that was in 2018. So ever since then, it’s just been one more step, one more step toward that toward, hey, you’re actually like, you’re good. You’re meant for more, you’re meant to be healthy. You’re meant to have happy, healthy kids running around to have great brains like there’s, they’re, they’re really happy kids, they’re healthy. And yeah, it wasn’t something that I started out with. So that’s something I really want to drive home with people is this isn’t you, it’s just something you’re experiencing. It’s my belief that that mental health issues mental diseases aren’t any different than heart disease, or cholesterol problems or diabetes. It’s it’s really my view, that’s the system that is the weakest point in that individual. And so that is why that expresses. And so that’s just what needs more support. And that’s where we can come in with the subconscious reprogramming. And release those trapped and stuck emotions that keep us in the past, rework the limiting beliefs of like, I’m not good enough, I can’t heal. I can’t have a I can’t have a healthy family, whatever it may be. And even we do parts work. And this kind of coaching where we can bring in and heal the parts of ourselves that are throwing us back into that old stuff. And we with parts we don’t necessarily have to get rid of the ones that were possibly dragging us into old patterns. I actually have a part of me that is the person who I thought I was when I was in my delusion. It’s a middle aged bag lady as I call her like a homeless woman. She got a cart. She’s still up in there, but she’s in she always was protecting me but now she’s working with me and she comes in and you know, occasionally she’ll be like, she’ll say stuff like yeah, I’m not I’m not worthy, or I don’t contribute, and we just talk a little. And it’s like, no, actually, like, we’re safe. We’re good. Thank you for being here. Like we can do this another way. So it’s kind of funny to me that that experience of my life that should have maybe been my whole personality, my whole brain is just like a little component in there to, to wave sometimes and be like, hey, this little bit needs attention.

Megan Blacksmith  

Would the 2018 version of you believe that you are where you are now?

Sarah  

Absolutely not. I mean, I think I am honestly living. I am living the dream that I had them in a very different way than I expected at the time, I was still with that. The kind of not so great x. And this beginning, this work allowed me to let go of that relationship and heal myself to find a good one. Yeah, yeah, that’s, that’s funny to think about. Because I really do have all the things that I was wanting all the people that I was wanting, you know, I’ve got a really nice big house, that’s often a chaotic mess, but it’s a very happy home, I have an amazing husband. I have a church community, I have a faith. I’m a Catholic, that wasn’t even on my radar back then. Like, I knew I wanted something more in the spiritual life, but I didn’t have anything like that. So honestly, the dream came true. And it was also in a way that was very different than I thought it would be.

Megan Blacksmith  

I hope everybody hears that in it can and will come true, you just don’t always know how. And we have to be open to it looking a little bit different, because it could even be better. Right? It’s even much better,

Sarah  

so much better. Honestly, I sometimes when I remember that time in my life, I I literally thank God for not directly answering my prayers to come through the way I want to because I wanted very badly to marry that guy, that axe and boy that would have put my life into it’s gonna say a black hole a pit, it would have been bad to train myself to that person. The plan was so much better than I could have envisioned for myself. And that’s something I need to hear right now, actually, because I’m in I’m in a period of up level where there’s a fair amount of friction, there’s a lot of friction. And the things like the next levels of healing physically or our finances, they’re not where we want them to be. They’re not shifting as rapidly as we want. It’s, it feels harder than we want it to be. And we just have to have that trust that like this, or something better. Like God’s plan is always going to be better than ours. Like it’s always better. And I know not everyone has the same religious belief as mine. But I do think a lot of your listeners have this concept of like, the universe, like there is something out there that’s maybe running the show beyond what we’re doing in our own lives. And gosh, building trust for that. It’s it’s kind of a life’s work, to be honest. And it’s so important. Because it is always better.

Megan Blacksmith  

I’m just thinking, Sarah, the imagined or now and like 2030 Looking back on 2024 Or like, oh, remember when I thought that thing? Wouldn’t? They thought that thing was a problem? That little thing? Yeah,

Sarah  

that’ll thing. And I know that’s that’s what my health is going to be because I’ve come so far in that there are still a few pieces that aren’t where I want them to be at. And our finances too. But like I can feel that we’re on the edge of the breakthrough. But just sometimes longer than you want it to be. And yeah, looking thinking I’m looking back, it’s like, oh, yeah, I forgot that. I didn’t feel good or that we didn’t just have abundant money. We weren’t able to build all of these charitable organizations that we want to and do all these projects in our community and that the retreat center was a question mark.

Megan Blacksmith  

Right, like and here we are. Thank you so much for Sarah, for sharing. Is there any Anything else you’d like to leave our listeners with?

Sarah  

What’s coming to mind for me now for me now is just that, no matter who you are, what you’re doing, you are enough and you matter. And don’t let go of that. Hold on tight.

Megan Blacksmith  

Beautiful. Thank you so much.

Sarah  

Thank you. I am so grateful for this opportunity.