Selling to People How Their Brain Thinks

Dr. Alex Golden discusses the broader definition of sales, which involves selling ideas and not just products or services. Emphasizing the importance of understanding the four bodies and how they work together to achieve transformation, she highlights the significance of individual communication styles and the different ways people process information. Additionally, she elaborates on the incredible plasticity of the brain and the need to listen for kinesthetic, auditory, and visual cues to communicate effectively and avoid misunderstandings.


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Transcript:

Dr. Alex Golden

Hello, hello. Welcome to the becoming zesty podcast. So glad that you are here and if you’re watching on YouTube, hello. Really glad that you’ve stopped by. Check out the show notes for the link there if you’re listening and do want to watch and welcome, because today we are going to be talking about selling to people how their brain hears and processes information. So this is obviously really important when we are in the world of persuasion. And when I done that selling, what’s interesting in leadership is that selling has so much more meaning, I feel like when it comes to leadership. And in fact, I think that’s part of when we brought in the definition of sales and what we’re selling, I think it actually becomes so much easier to do so. And of course, that makes all the sense in the world that we would lean towards things that make it easier to sell things, because when we have something that we believe can help the world, that’s the whole point, right? Like to sit and say, I have something that helps people, and then not actually get it in the hands of the people. It’s supposed to help. It’s not doing its thing, right? And of course, there’s challenges there and all that stuff. At the end of the day, the point of talking, doing stuff, influencing people is to get something across. So when it comes to selling, what, what is, even, you know, what would be the broader definition of sales, and for me, selling, it also includes the sale and the, you know, the sell, selling of ideas. So we sell our kids on eating vegetables. We sell our partner on the vacation we want to take, or the thing we want to do over the weekend, or how we should budget. We sell our clients on our packages. We sell our collaborative like CO business people on ideas. So when we look at it that way, every time that you are interacting with someone, there is more, more than likely both people are selling something, and one person’s gonna walk away having sold the other person, and the other person will have bought Right? Like, if someone comes up and like, my sister can always sell me on things like Boba and sushi, right? She’s like, Hey, want to get sushi, right? What is she actually doing? She’s just selling me on the idea of sushi. Now, in that example, it’s such an easy sell that all she has to do was ask. So in sales, when it comes to business, selling your stuff, there’s also the concept of it doesn’t so much matter what you say every time, as long as you’re willing to ask a whole bunch of people, right, you could be a terrible salesperson, but as long as you are willing to talk to and ask more people, Hey, do you want this thing? Hey, do you want to do this thing? Hey, do you want this thing? That person will still win over somebody who’s really, really good at persuasion, but sits at home and doesn’t talk to anybody. So that’s why it’s so important to be like if we think about sales in a more constructive way, more of us who have good things and are good salespeople can be out there actually doing our thing. And not be sitting home with like, imposter syndrome and and am I good enough? And am I worthy to do, you know, just like all the things. And so when we look at it that way is, or like, if we’re if we’re bothering to do anything, we’re already in the game. So let’s make it as effective as possible. So then this comes down to, how do we talk then to somebody in a way that their brain hears. So if we have kids that are picky eaters, how does their brain process information? How do they hear it? And how do we make things sound feel look good to somebody? Because when it comes down to it, the brain talks in senses. That’s why we have the five senses, plus the six is our self talk and NLP, that’s known as ad that’s audio digital, hearing your own voice in your head, at is hearing somebody else’s voice in your head, like your mom talking or your dad. And so the brain processes through the symbolic representation of our world, and that’s, of course, done through our senses and our self talk. And so to explain that, we kind of can go back to childhood. A baby doesn’t understand words, per se, because it’s the experiences that lead to under the understanding of what things are called or named. So right? The brain has to function to understand things symbolically. Otherwise, as the baby, there wouldn’t be that start of the brain connections that give us the interpretation of the world. This is how the world works. When I cry, I get this. When mom does this, I do this, when dad does this, this happens. And so those are symbolically represented. Then we go to naming things, this feels like love or this feels like sadness. So that is why, when it comes to selling, when it comes to working with someone and communicating and selling from a place of how their brain works, we have to understand that a the brain represents things symbolically, and so that’s what we just talked about. And two is that people have preferences on those representations. Some people are very visual, and so it’s images that generally will transmit a message and get a point across and be persuasive in someone’s brain. Or maybe they’re very auditory, they hear it and it needs to sound good. Or maybe they’re very kinesthetic. It has to feel good in their body. Those gut feelings have to be aligned. It has to feel good to them. And so people have preferences in the things that get developed. Now we have our native, our natural, what we are organically were designed and and how we were created. So we have preferences there, then there’s programming preferences. So for me, I am very visual. Naturally, I’m very visual, but my very strong, the other one that’s very strong in me is AD, audio, digital, and that is more from the programming of being in school forever and ever and ever, right as an MD like that, that’s just what I did. And so thinking became very developed, and talking to myself became a primary mode. So you can have representations with you or somebody else that you don’t totally always know which one’s native and which one’s program, but sometimes, based on the history, things can kind of make sense. So when we are in a conversation and in a persuasive kind of sales thing, right? Like whether it’s the kids to eat the veggies or the we’re on an actual sales call or a zoom call to pitch our stuff, we can listen for the words that people are using when they talk to us. Tell us what they actually process, what their brain processes through. And so when we listen for the words, and I’m going to go through examples here, I we’re gonna go through the words that they say, and then we can also go through the words of what happens when you talk back to somebody who has that kind of representational system, like, what is it that you need to say back? Okay, so what are we actually going to listen for when we’re hearing stuff now, people in our lives that we talk to routinely, obviously, we can listen to it throughout their conversations, and we can get a really clear understanding of literally the order of all six, right? So some people really go with smells. They’re like, Oh man, when I smell that perfume like they generally. Have perfume. They like body sprays. They are into scented, you know, laundry detergent, whatever. So like, smells can be big and they can be like when I smell the smell isn’t reminds me of my grandma or gustatory. That’s the taste when I eat these cookies. It reminds me of grandma, or I have the craving, and I imagine it, and it reminds me a grandma. So when we are in in our everyday life, it becomes easier, because we have so many data points, right? You could listen to your partner or your kids for like, an entire day and get a pretty clear sense of what’s going on, and then, of course, over the years and things like that, you can see how someone may shift in their how their brain represents information to them. What’s interesting is that the more you work with your brain and do this kind of work, like anybody that comes to our level one for NLP certification and life coaching certification, or even our two day habit training, is that a lot of times, as people work with their brains, they get better at using all of them, and so it becomes easier to, like, imagine, for example, if you are wanting to create in the world a Certain experience with your kids, and there’s like a taste and a smell associated, like an experience of birthday cake or something like that. Like I’ve had want to take my sister to Paris and have a chocolate croissant, looking at the

Eiffel Tower and things like that. Like that taste can as you practice representing things in your mind, it gets built out that was never really a thing that I that came naturally to me, and some people worried that they can’t visualize. It is totally fine, as long as you represent it first in your mind, the way that you speak, and then do it for other people, what’s cool is that you can develop all of these senses and communication within yourself over time, and it becomes even easier to work with yourself and others. So it’s pretty cool that way. Honestly, the brain is so incredibly plastic and it does so many different things that that we can really, really run with it. Okay, so what are the things that people are gonna say, if they are visual, they will see, say things like, it appears to me that, you know, get, I need to get a perspective on, or let’s change the perspective about, yeah, they’ll say a hazy idea. This, this idea is to it’s murky, yeah, up front. I’m going to be up front with you. Paint a picture for you. Let me paint a picture for you with my words, right? I can see about that. Parents legend, right? We’ll see about that. Can we do this? Oh, we’ll see about that. So you can hear in even something, your partner’s conversation, what it’s easier to see outside of yourself, I think, than inside. But you can also, once you start listening for this and others, you can hear it in your own speech. So that’s visual. Let’s go to auditory. So people will say things like, oh, that’s clear as a bell. Now, Brian, thanks for clearing it up for me, holding my tongue, I gave them an earful, or she gave me an earful. I got tongue tied. Word for word, there’s in a manner of speaking, yeah, loud and clear. You made that loud. Your actions were loud and clear. Sorry, they’re translating something that they saw out in the world is someone’s behaviors a certain way, and they’re translating into a message that they hear loud and clear in their mind. So that’s kind of how that works to the and what’s cool about that is all of this understanding begins to highlight, and I like the NLP phrasing of this is that the map is not the territory, right? That’s where the way the word someone uses to describe an event is not the event itself. We are translating behavior to I got this message loud and clear, but was that really the intention behind the behavior? Maybe yes, maybe no, and that is why it starts to really build upon itself like this starts a little bit of a snowball, because listening for this kind of thing also then functions to remind us that the way people talk is heavily dependent on how they perceive the world. So we’re all looking at the same thing, but we describe it and represent it in the brain different ways. And that’s where you can get off a session or a client call or a sales call, and then they send an email. They’re like, you said this and this, and you’re like, When did I ever say that? Right? And that becomes the basis of helping yourself get some more clarity about why. People think the way they do, or why you react the way they do, and why misunderstandings happen, and all that good stuff. All right, so let’s go on to kinesthetic. So that’s feeling. This is like all worked up, all wound up, all washed up, that kind of like feeling tiny pull some strings, and actual tactile, like I’m pulling something too much hassle, too much to hold, yum, sharp as a tack. She was a hot head. Yeah, that feeling of hot head and hanging in there like you can, you know, sometimes people will actually do the hand motion, like in their mind, they are representing the rope, and they are feeling that rope. So they do the hand motion because their brain thinks it, and they move before they even consciously are aware of it. And so a little clue for kinesthetics. Sometimes on the phone, you can’t see this, but if you’re on Zoom or in person, they will, they will move their hands a decent amount, and sometimes they will act things out more. And I, you’ll notice, if you’re watching the YouTube, I do this as well. Like, I will grasp for an idea. I will actually, literally, like, grab for the air and bring it towards myself. And that’s how my brain represents that kind of thing. I’m like, bringing it and grabbing it for me. And so you’ll you’ll notice sometimes in people’s body language that they are doing things that people that are auditory, oftentimes will move their head to the side and and will be facing their ear towards the person that they’re listening, or they’ll kind of cock their head to the side. And then the people who are visual generally, will be looking right at you and have your eyes on you. Or if they’re not feeling the conversation, their eyes will be elsewhere, kind of like how people say like where your feet point in conversation kind of tells you how much you’re in it or away from it. And so same kind of thing with the eyes, if they’re looking at you, they’re in their visual there’s more engagement. If they are looking off to the side or all around or at, you know, your shirt or your forehead or whatever, then there might be something else going on. So this is the words that they’re going to say. That lets you know. So then how do you respond for the visual? Make them look it can sound like if this looks good to you. Let’s focus on finishing up the program. Agreement, right? Looks and focus are the visual words there. So auditory, if this sounds good, let’s start discussing the next steps. So sounds and discussing. That’s a words and talking. Those are the two auditory and then for kinesthetic, if this feels good, let’s handle all the paperwork to, you know, fill in the blank, so handle that’s like touch and feels good. So by the end of the conversation, oftentimes, if you are listening for these words. They’re like, that makes sense to me, right? They’re talking to themselves. They’re making sense of it. So if this makes sense to you, let’s talk about the details. Because, you know, audio digital people generally are they’re like, doesn’t make sense. So they need details and an understanding of what that is like

there the smell and the taste are less used when it comes to like. It’s less common to be like that tastes good to me. But of course, depending on your business, that’s super not true if you have a restaurant. So you know, depending on what it is that you’re doing, that certainly can be but by and large, if you’re talking about information products, you know, and more than not, people are won’t say like that smells good to me, but they can say that I have a bad taste in my mouth for that. So that’s that kind of thing, even though they’re not quite as you won’t use them quite as much because you can’t say, you know, does that taste good to you, like or if that tastes good to you? Let’s let this paperwork. Don’t you know what I mean, like that, that just sounds weird. But definitely you can, you can still hear like bad taste, and rather that left a bad taste, or they’ll look like they smelled something unpleasant. So if you’re talking about money, and they’re like, it almost smells like they got like or their face looks like they got like, a bad taste or smell, sometimes that’s the behavioral things that they’ll do to let you know. But of course, we don’t use those other ones quite as much. I think the these ones that I said are by far the most common for where people start, and then as everybody fills out, there’s so much more latitude, like really by the time, let’s say, for people who are going from Level Two to our higher level events and trainings, people who already got certified and all four for level one. I did level two and got certified in those and then went on to other things. That’s where their the way their brain speaks, has been rewired to have a lot more wiggle room at the end of the coaches who go through the certifications have significantly more wiggle room and mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, flexibility to utilize some coaching. And so for that reason, it becomes, it becomes a little bit easier, because you can say pretty much anything in their brain translates it to information, but especially when you’re speaking with people who you haven’t worked with before or are not in the field of any sort of brain or identity work, then that’s where you meet them, wherever they’re at and you walk them on over to where you want them to be. As a leader, given what you do in business or in your persuasive you know leadership life, whatever that looks like for you. But essentially, you you’re listening for where they’re at, and then if you want to develop it, great. And if that’s not what you do, awesome. Just send them our way. Alrighty. So thank you so much for tuning in to the podcast. So glad that you’re listening. And check out the show notes for some important links. There we have some good deals going on. And make sure you are signed up for our two day habit event in August. That is August, 20 and 21st it is so, so transformative. People have huge ahas at that two day event, and it’s only a couple $100 so check that out in the show notes. It’s something you definitely don’t want to miss. And we’ll see you there.