Toothpicks Determine Destiny

In this episode, Dr. Alex dives deep into the significance of understanding the vast amount of information our brains process every second and how it influences our destiny. She discusses practical strategies to rewire your mindset, address the root causes of mental and brain-related issues, and cultivate enduring confidence.

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Dr. Alex Golden:
Welcome to the becoming zesty podcast. So glad that you are here, especially if you’re tuning in on YouTube, where we have the video. Hello. So glad that you joined us today. Today we’re going to talk about toothpicks. Now I realize the title of this is a little sensational on the toothpicks determine your destiny, and I do hope that you are excited to hear how that works. If you haven’t heard this metaphor from us before, essentially, this is one of the foundational concepts here in the zesty community that is so key for us to begin to understand any time we are hoping to get results in life. So this is definitely for you, and you’re in the right place, if you’re listening because you’re wanting to create the life of your dreams, like if you are living in existence where you’re like, I would like something to be upgraded or different or changed in the future. I want to feel differently. I want to think differently. I want to experience life differently. Then this conversation’s always going to be for all of us. And even if you’ve heard this before, or you understand how the brain works, or whatever, this is one of those things where, whenever I hear someone explain this, even though I teach it, I never stop hearing it anew, because if something is happening that determines our destiny and what happens, then, at that level, if we want to determine the results that we get and actually have the choice to create that life, then obviously, is going to Be a relevant portion of the discussion. So what are we even talking about when we talk about toothpicks, right? This is the concept of our brain does us a huge service by the sheer amount of information that it picks up, right? So when it comes to the mind, and of course, the mind is not the same as the brain. The mind is much bigger, more fluid. Is the mental body in and of itself, and it interfaces with the physical body at the brain level, right? So hopefully that clears up kind of mind and brain. But when it comes to the mind. There’s the conscious mind, and that’s how we normally think, and we create and answer questions and all that great stuff. And we also have the subconscious or unconscious mind. We around here use the terms interchangeably, but that is to say, there is a much bigger portion of the iceberg underneath the water that is the unconscious mind. So when it comes to picking up information by the mind and translating it into brain impulses, like neurons, firing brain chemistry, getting released and creating the soup that is in your body, you know what’s in your bloodstream, what ends up in your brain, all that stuff. The toothpicks are our version of explaining bits of information, right? So imagine it like this, wherever you’re sitting in your car, in your home, at work, wherever, imagine that a big hole opens up in the ceiling, and every second some. Somebody drops in 11 million toothpicks. Okay, so that’s 11 million bits of information coming in per second. So when you’re sitting there, that’s the glimmer of like your clothes touching your skin, the hair touching your scalp a certain way, even the view of your nose in your vision, you know, your brain sort of tunes it out when you’re looking through through your own eyes, but it your nose is there, right? And things like that. So the wind blowing, the sounds in the background, what temperature it is, how you feel on the inside, How hungry are do you have to pee, all of those things you are constantly picking up the toothpick. So there’s it classically, and this is from several decades ago. It was taught that it’s about 11 million toothpicks every second. That’s how many bits of information per second. And that’s a whole lot of freaking toothpicks, right? So many coming in all day long. So what does your brain have to do? It has to pare down those toothpicks to a number that you can actually pick up every second. So what happens is that the conscious mind can only pick up, on average, about 130 some. So that really the numbers are going up. Because as we get smart watches, over those decades, since we’ve gotten those numbers, as we get, like the glasses that you can record stuff with and get notifications on, and, you know, billboards and all sorts of stuff, that makes it so that that number is really probably more like 30 million or whatever, but that it doesn’t matter, we can still understand the concept a really big number In the millions going to 130 even if it’s 150 these days, you can, I mean, to go from 30 million down to 150 I’m not saying 150,000 I’m saying 150 period. In that case, there’s a huge amount of information that’s lost in the translation from what your mind picked up from a subconscious level, and what you consciously actually get, right? And so you’re only picking up 100 some toothpicks every second. Therefore, when you know how does this translate to Destiny, you can only pick up so many toothpicks, right? So what do you have to do with the rest, you can either delete some like, I didn’t never see that opportunity in my life. You can distort, no, that’s not what they said. Here’s how I heard it. Or we can generalize, all men hurt you, all women cheat. Whatever. You know, life is hard. It’s a way to take many, many unmanageable toothpicks and for our conscious mind to distill it down into something that’s usable. You can really then see there has to be a filtration system to get it from the millions to 100 so your beliefs are the filtration system for the toothpick. That’s why what toothpicks you believe are available to you, the opportunities you think you have or don’t have, the feelings that you feel like are stuck with and following you around or not, or the things that you you know think that you can’t seem to overcome, or habits that you can’t break, the reason you feel that way is because, right now, the settings only allow you to pick up those toothpicks. So if you truly feel like you’re stuck in life, this is where the best help we can offer or request from somebody is help figuring out, how do I transform my own mind? How do I actually rewire myself so that I can choose different toothpicks? Because here’s the kicker, for me, there is no free will discussion until someone’s done this work for me. Because how can I expect you as someone who’s been programmed from infancy to assimilate and take information when that’s not the setting you were programmed with, right? How do I then say someone isn’t doing good enough, living out their free will when they don’t even know what’s happening? Right? And so there’s a lot of things that people get into where you the problems that you have, like feeling bad about yourself or not feeling good enough, or feeling like you’re dropping the ball, or how you can’t overcome something like losing weight or stopping you know, social media or whatever it is that you feel like is not good enough in your life. The reality is that it’s not even up to you until you’ve been resourced to do some of this rewiring work. If you can’t pick up other toothpicks, you can’t pick up other toothpicks. Therefore, there is no such thing as you know, adding guilt and shame about how poorly you’re performing at something until this kind of work is done. And that’s why, when we work with. Business owners, so often it’s like, Whoa, let’s hold the horses around what you can or can’t do in life, or what’s possible for you, until we do some of this groundwork where you actually work on your mindset. And that’s part of why we have our breakthrough sessions that are 197 right? Is for someone to come and at least get a taste of what it’s like to live with free will to live under the I can actually choose what toothpicks I’m picking up, because if I walk in the room with the belief that I don’t fit in and I’m not good enough well, then when I walk into the room, the only toothpicks available to me are that funny look that I’m picking up that’s like, Ooh, maybe she doesn’t want me to be here, and the person that interrupted me, they must not care about what I have to say. So you walk around all day long picking up the toothpicks, thinking that the world is confirming you there. I mean, in a way, they are. They’re confirming the past. But if you don’t want to recreate that, you don’t have to. The whole trick is, oftentimes, we haven’t actually been told how to do it, right? People say, just do willpower. And then people try and fall off and then feel bad about themselves. What I’m suggesting is that there’s much more powerful ways to become in control of this whole process. Yes, the toothpicks were set by somebody else before you got there, but you have every opportunity here in life to rewire that. And there’s people, if you’re listening to this, you already know that there’s opportunities and resources out there for you, right? And if you have actually gotten certified or trained, then you have the resources to do it for yourself. So the second you clock a problem or a thing that you’re thinking that is leading to it, you know what to do, to change it. If it’s a feeling, you know how to do the feeling stuff, to process it. If it’s a thought, you know how to deal with that, right? So it becomes either a process of getting resources or using the resources. But either way, it’s actually really simple. There’s not as much of the confusion. Part of the confusion comes from trying to get out of all that, right? Being like, Oh no, I have to work on my money mindset again. I thought I already worked on it. Instead of just being like, Hey, I still have a thing about money, let me go do this thing about this process, about money, and handle it. We will spend the next week doing the what was me at the work on money again when we could have been done with that. So if the more that someone feels stuck, the more it’s important for them to say I’m not available to pick up these other toothpicks when they are right there in my face. What I need to do is go learn the resources and the tools to activate and step into that and actually just change what is available to me. But at this point, you know, in our society, the words world has already caught up to this. Most people know that you can change what you think with the right stuff. So when people are continuing to sit there and not do it, that is just a choice they’re making. There’s nothing that Whenever someone’s starting to make excuses, that’s where we can whether it’s you or somebody else, we can coach appropriately and respond appropriately, because it’s like if you are resourced, then there’s nothing stopping you from using the resources, and if you need more resources, there’s nothing stopping you from getting more resources, as long as you’re serious about that, right? And so, and we can say, Oh, these circumstances are in my face. Cool, those are the toothpicks that you’re picking up. Our question is, do you want to keep picking them up? Right? They are validly there. And that’s the whole thing. Is that the toothpicks, they’re all there. All of the crap is there, and all the opportunity is there. It’s just a matter of which way are you distorting, which version of it are you deleting and generalizing? Is it the way that serves you, or is it the way that’s actually undercutting your results? Right? It becomes relatively simple. Now, it’s not easy to execute on that. I know, and that’s why we teach all the emotional processing things. I get frustrated with myself and with life and all that too. I do all that stuff, but it is relatively simple, and that’s where people allow themselves to forget. They allow themselves to convince themselves that they’re confused. You’re not confused. It’s just hard sometimes. But saying you’re confused probably makes you more confused, because now you know the resources to do that you’re finding hard. In the moment, and now you’re adding confusion. Instead of just saying, This feels hard, I feel mad about it, let me go process the mad, and then I can do something about it. That is the way that we actually work on stuff. But when we override it with confusion. Now we got two problems to unpack. We didn’t actually resolve anything. And so consider the toothpicks like when you walk into rooms. What’s in common when you have conversations with people? What’s the common stuff? Because if you walk away being like, I never really feel heard, or I don’t feel valued, or, you know, my whole family doesn’t XYZ. Or none of my friends do blank, blank, blank. Or they all do this to me. That’s it, right there. That’s for you to look in the mirror and see that reflection and say, Oh, right. That must be what my filter is, because there’s only one way for me to habitually pick up the same toothpicks. I have to take my hands and pick them up. There’s no other way for me to acquire them. They don’t get stuck to me. I have to go get them. And it’s the same thing. My eyeballs pick up whatever my eyeballs pick up, and it’s set by what’s going on in my brain, so as long as I’m lying to change that, then I’m not scared to look in the mirror. If we’re scared to do anything about it, then I would recommend not even worrying about it, because you’re just gonna make yourself feel bad. You’ll see all this stuff that is coming up for you, and then you’ll decide not to do anything about it, and then you’ll feel worse. So don’t, you know, don’t do that. But as long as we’re having the courage to look at it and say, I do actually want the results, and I’m really committed to being there and doing the work to get there, well then now I can actually benefit. I don’t have to feel scared to see hmm, there’s this pattern that I’m not loving that the toothpicks are on. But the kicker is that I might not love seeing it, but the fact that I saw it means I can do something about it. When I do something about it, I get what I want and that I can get behind now there’s a lot less fear, because you’re not just looking in the mirror to hurt your own feelings. You’re looking in the mirror to do something about that. And when you live the kind of life where you see a thing within you and you love yourself enough to do something about it and see it through to the end, that is what breeds True Confidence, like that unshakable confidence that people are looking for is a lived manifestation. I do not believe confidence, kind of like wealth, is a direct thing. You don’t create confidence by sitting there. You can envision your identity, and then when you go out and live it, that allows you to feel the confidence of I really said it and I really did it. That’s what’s gonna close the loop, and that’s why I never recommend that anybody just like, does confidence, building affirmations in the mirror and stuff like that, not bad to do. I don’t believe it’ll hurt anybody. I just don’t feel like that resolves the problem as fast as, like, living a life that you’re proud of that will hardwire it, you could literally do one thing and see yourself differently. That’s the whole thing. Is that that you flip that filter now you automatically pick up the toothpicks the way that you’re automatically picking up the low self worth ones now, or the low money consciousness, or I’m poor, or whatever, you’ll automatically pick up the I do deserve that. I do insist that people treat me well. I only surround myself with people who respect what I have to say and and can work with me, right? All of those things is how you truly build that sort of confidence. So there’s real payouts, not just in results, like you get the stuff that you want, but as a byproduct, you get stuff like confidence. So that’s the coolest part, is when you work on it truly, like when you actually address the problems at the root cause level, and especially in your mind and in your brain, the benefits are outrageously good, like it’s more than you can ask for, because to get what you want, plus to feel better and better about yourself. And the more you do that, the better it gets. I mean, think about what that ripple effect has become, if everything you do reinforces that you love yourself and that you’re confident that you’re really doing it and you care about the world and you’re really that person to show up for it, think about what you can accomplish. So what I hope that I’ve convinced you over this episode that. Your toothpicks really do determine your destiny, and not because somebody else determines it, but because you do. And that’s the most, I think, empowering and uplifting portion of it. And if you’re not hearing it in an empowered and uplifted way, please go to the show notes and check out the breakthrough session, because we really do got you, and we really can change that in real time. We also have plenty of other resources on the podcast that are free. You can also go to our website. There’s free resources for you to sign up for there as well low cost meditations. I mean, honestly, the resourcing is there for you. It’s just a matter of if you want to be the person to go get them right, and if you are, then check out the show notes. There’s 1,000,010 things for you to benefit from and get a lot out of. And I will also link it up in YouTube. So thank you so much for joining me. I’m sending you all lots and lots of love. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I’ll catch you next time.