In this episode, Dr. Alex talks about the intricate differences between human-level and soul-level feelings. She explores how our emotional compass guides us toward fulfillment, passion, and creativity. Learn about the critical role emotions play in leadership and personal transformation, the challenges of being a role model, and strategies to harness the power of your feelings effectively.
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Transcript:
Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the becoming zesty podcast, or if you’re on YouTube, joining us, hello, hello. Today, we’re going to talk about feelings, and specifically we’re going to talk about the difference between human level feelings and Soul level feelings. And this is kind of like the advanced feelings discussion. But it’s really exciting, because really, as a culture and as a society, we are relatively new to talking about feelings, but it has been a couple years, and there is starting to emerge, like the nuance, the goodies of the details. I like those kind of topics, right? I like digging into the meat of it, the nitty gritty. And it feels like now we are starting to get to the point where we’ve all considered and talked about and thought about feelings enough where those details are starting to emerge that get us to turn feelings into something even more usable for us, right? The what here at zesty we’ve been talking about is that feelings are our emotional compass. It’s the mechanism, and the emotional body is the mechanism that we have to tell what’s for us, what’s going to fulfill us, what makes us feel passionate, what brings out our creativity, what brings out the best in us. So the emotions that we feel are really, really important at the same time. We also know in leadership and in moving people and in transformation as a leader. You know how hard it is to move yourself right? How hard it can be to move yourself to action, to move yourself through change, to move yourself through identity shifts, and then we take on the role of helping other people do it. And then that’s where often we realize, oh my goodness, there’s just like, so much more to this, and my role in that, and my my expectations for myself then often become even higher because we see, oh, wow, it if this is how hard this undertaking is, my role modeling is really, really crucial, right? I have to first show what it even is like and why it’s worth it, and that brings us up to an expectation of, well, then I gotta actually do it and be able to role model it. And so we we come up against that, but all of the difficulties that we find in that really lie in difficulties of feeling it’s because you can, you know, set all these great goals, be like this, who I am, I’m going to accomplish it. But isn’t it how you feel on any given day that then dictates how you move? Like, do you get up and you try to tackle that goal? Or are you like, oh my gosh, this is so pointless. I don’t even know why I took this on. This is stupid. I can do it blah, blah, blah, right? So it’s the feelings that then are the hard part of getting yourself to do the things or to be the actual person and to embody the things that. You say that you are, and so having a discussion of feelings then is really, really important, because obviously, if that’s what moves us, or that’s what stops us, at the heart of it, right, the thoughts then lead to the feelings that then lead to the what your body does, and if it’s taking you out and sabotaging you every time, then those goals feel really far away. We are frustrated all of that stuff. So when it comes to leadership, the reality is that understanding emotions and and feelings and how to work with them, process that them what they’re there for, understanding the nuance, then I will make the case. That’s why it is such a crucial piece of leadership, right? Why leadership can feel so hard? And I think part of that difficulty is the exploration of getting through your own emotional landscape so you can figure it out. And to a certain point we have to have an understanding of our emotions and then no longer make decisions based off how we feel in the moment. Right? You start to work with your emotions and move yourself and see yourself, you know, mess it up and fall off and do all those things. And over time, what you begin to see is, you know, whether I get it right, whether I do it wrong, whether I mess it up, whether I feel good or bad doing it, I’m still doing it right. And so part of the persistence and that tenacity and and the things that make successful, you know the difference between successful leaders and unsuccessful leaders, often, it’s that understanding of even with the feelings, I have to understand how to move them and I still have to keep going. But I think that the people that get derailed from that are it’s often the misunderstandings and the difficulties there that derail them, not the fact that they don’t have what it takes, or that they can’t figure out, or anything like that. So that’s why that’s all to say. I’m really happy that we’re having a more, you know, detailed conversation about this feeling stuff, because as we gain that better understanding, as we understand those aspects of ourselves and other people, when there’s understanding, you can apply resources when you don’t know what the problem is or what’s happening. It’s very difficult to pick it, pick an appropriate resource. You might get it right, but you might not right. And so the to me, the understanding and the higher level understanding does matter. And even though you know thoughts and our ability to explain things isn’t the end all and be all of this experience on some level, the understanding then allows us to more intentionally handle the problem. So that’s why, to me, it comes part and parcel. Yes, we have to feel, we have to think, we have to sense into who we are in the bigger picture here, and have it all work together for us. And so this understanding of what’s like, and when I say human level feelings, that’s more to say like an ego base, what’s, what’s, our program self, the way that we’ve been programmed over time, and how we made decisions, on how all that shook out over life, the ego feelings that we experience. And just to be clear, when I say ego, I am not talking about bad that is ego is not something like the negative that we have to get rid of, right? I just mean this is our wordly facing persona, and then we get to decide whatever it is that we want to do with that, right? Because I don’t believe that we’re obliterating the ego, even in enlightenment, we’re just interacting with it differently, right? So, nothing bad in that, but we are going to make a distinction about how that’s different from a soul level feeling, and I suppose you wouldn’t necessarily even call them emotions per se. Like, is this something that’s probably more correct to say spiritual body at the same time. This is a practical conversation. It feels like a feeling and an emotion. Therefore we’re going to talk about it like that, because really, we’re talking about something that’s usable, that you can take action on and resource. So there’s really no point in getting into like, the semantics of that. But that is to say when, when I create the distinction, that’s really what the distinction is there for. It’s not because words always are going to accurately represent exactly what’s happening, but it’s going to get us accurately to the place of being usable. And that’s really what for me, that we’re going. So when I talk about a human feeling, or an ego feeling, this is essentially a response to an external thing.
It can still be registered internally, as in something happens externally in your life, but you think internally, ooh, I’m not good enough to do that, and therefore, that’s why it it’s an emotional compass off the external stuff, right? So anything that has to do with your real life world, this is relationships, business, kids, conversations, ways that you see yourself, ways that you perceive, that you are perceived by other people, all of that stuff that is generally the external being reflected and to the internal. And so yes, you can absolutely wake up and nothing external has happened, but you feel really bad about yourself. That feeling is still a product of years of external things being interpreted in a certain way and accepted by you in your mind, right? So even though today, as a 40 year old, you’re like nothing happened, if we went back to the root of that absolutely something happened. Something happened. Your brain and your mind made an interpretation, and then that set the filter, and then the rest of your life began to be based off that filter and be built onto right and so that’s where the human fans are always a response to that level stuff. So we are responding, or, I guess, a better way to say, reacting, to a shift that has occurred. Maybe we got something we wanted, maybe we didn’t get something we wanted. Either way, it’s something in relation to us as it relates to the external world. That means that, from an emotional compass, there can be appropriate and warranted feelings, and there can be inappropriate and unwarranted feelings, because that is to say, you could have an emotional response that matches the event that happens. And generally speaking, you could determine that this is all subjective. You could determine that that was an appropriate response. But if something small elicits a really huge response, because it reminds us of something huge from the past. That’s where it looks inappropriate and unwarranted, but that is simply because the energy of that emotion from the past has still been retained in the person, and it’s just getting reactivated by that small thing. So from the outside it looks like why is this person freaking about freaking out about this relatively small thing? But on the inside, that’s where it’s, you know, inappropriate and unwarranted based off the external circumstances. So all of those evaluations and judgments that we really make about feelings, and I’m not saying they’re bad, like, as in, it is good to ask ourselves, did I overreact in this scenario, right? Like, was my response warranted? Was it in? Could it have been inappropriate? Right? I think all that self exploration, self warrant is really healthy. There’s nothing wrong. Like, I don’t think there’s any negativity to saying, Oh, I didn’t do that, right? Let me do better, right? But we have to understand that, generally speaking, it comes from somewhere. So what looks like inappropriate and unwarranted through one lens, when we’re talking about human feelings. When we actually look at the well, how did it really make you feel about yourself totally and someone describes, they’re like, Oh, that’s a really big feeling that that really stinks. I would feel terrible if I felt that. Of course, you had that response. Then, in that way, that’s where we have to be careful on making judgments about it, because it really because it’s a response to something external. But you don’t necessarily always know how the light got refracted internally, right? Like, how where did it bounce off? Where are the sticking points in us that make the light been funny? And in that case, then there are going to be responses that we need to look more closely at and say, Where’s this emotional compass really pointing right? But at the same time, even though that’s true from a human perspective, when we can really look through lots of. Different lenses begin to apply. I mean, when, when we work with people, or people come to level one, and we’re training practitioners and coaches, you know, it’s really powerful to be able to go like, let’s shift the frame to seeing this as well. If this was valid, what is this telling you about yourself? And you go and help someone work on something deeper to them, something that impacts more of their life. You’ll help them more. You’ll their life will be more transformed than it otherwise would have. So that stuff is really, really cool, but even from that level, something can be absolutely appropriate and warranted from a human level, and not always be deeply true at a soul level, right? I can have an ego valid story, while at a soul level, I’m like, none of that really matters, right? And so that pulling it all apart, we have to acknowledge where we’re focusing and what we’re really talking about. And sometimes, as leaders, we’re not always saying all of the things like, Oh, we’re having a human feeling discussion, right? But in our mind, then we’re we’re considering these things. If someone is treating their own emotions as inappropriate and unwarranted, we can really help them by not only asking questions about the frame of the human feelings. Well, from what perspective are we going to look at this? Does this help us understand why you’re responding the way you are? Does this give us more resources to act upon, to take action and improve the situation. That really gets at the heart of it. And then also asking, Is this something that supports this person at the most foundational soul level? And sometimes that’s where the the biggest changes can get impacted. To say, you know, let’s step back and go even deeper to this. And for some people, that really is the out. That’s where the human mind can get really, really swept up in it. No matter what perspective you shift to, their mind has a human level explanation at this. This, I used to do this to my coaches all the time, but when I went soul level, that’s where the truth would emerge, and that is essentially would always be my check on, on where I was at with that did that actually imagine if it didn’t for me, it gave me something to do. So that’s why it these layers are so helpful to begin to localize what it is. And so the when we talk about all the human level emotions and all those details, that’s really where we figure out that if we are to listen to that compass and ask better questions, like, why is this coming up for me? Where is this coming from. What is this telling me? How would I change this situation to fit me more so the human feelings, the emotional compass, then becomes the path to living an authentic life, right at each point, especially if we’re willing to then even question, well, you know, why am I feeling this way? Do I need to look at it differently? What does my soul say about this? All of that stuff then becomes a really great way to cross check ourselves on living the kind of life that we want to live, right? And so this is where authenticity begins to emerge, and from that we can, we can make decisions. Now there is then the cell level feeling. So let’s talk about that. That’s a response to an inner knowing or an inner shift. So remember how we talked about human fans were always a response to something external, even if it was registered internally. Later, a soul feeling as a response to an internal shift, a thing, something internally, right? For example, the fear of dying in certain situations is like a soul level feeling, as in, it’s a response to an inner stimuli. Now, there could still be an external thing, but the internal awareness is, ooh, this could take me out right? Or even, like the fear of heights or things like that, where there is a knowing of, if I were to do that, something could happen and you’re you registered.
That’s also the same thing that happens when we are often in like. Flow and creativity and joy is that when we are doing something that really fulfills our energetic body, and the reason that we’re here and begins to align our path up to why we came and what we’re doing here, and actually making that a reality, that’s that soul level feeling of I am I am happy, I’m joyful, I am aligned. So it’s still the same compass, right? It’s still the same mechanism that it’s working on. But it is a deeper level thing, and here’s the thing, it is. It is always appropriate and warranted on that level. And the only rub of it is that we have to figure out kind of where, where it’s telling us is appropriate, because I think the reality of the soul body is a lot less tangible. And so when it comes for example, one thing that I’ve experienced and comes up for people a lot, and it’s even Jesus talks about in the Bible, is the fear that comes up, the fear of death that comes up when we relinquish thinking and holding on to thought, right, there’s this awareness of of, if I stop what, who am I? That’s left and on that. That’s where we say, is that fear of annihilation appropriate and warranted. And I would argue that yes, because really it is our soul speaking to say, I am past that. But the fear is still our soul knows that we have four bodies for our mind to be let go of in that way is going to bring up a valid fear of that part of me really is getting blown out. My relationship with that aspect of me will never be the same again. And so that fear of, I mean, it’s really similar to the fear of getting chased by a lion and being like, I don’t know if I’m going to make it the soul level, but if that’s the same thing here, your soul knows that that’s a significant event, and so sometimes in life, that’s where quitting the job, leaving the relationship, entering A new one, moving cities, all the losing family members, all of that stuff, as much as the human feelings are terrible. The the soul often is leading the way in terms of the appropriateness of it. It can sometimes feel like you’re getting blown off the planet. But there that feeling is appropriate. To let you know the the grandioseness of what’s happening inside you, like the shift that’s taking place, is so big that one part of you appropriately acts like, Hey, I might not make it. And that’s the ego, right? That’s the part of you that’s like trying to make it all work and make sense and fit together and create a life that you can have a legacy of and explain and people write books about you and whatever. But on that level, that’s where you will have the awareness, and that’s why, when you’re doing big things in life, and when, when you sign up for big changes and big shifts and to live a life that’s like that, the soul level fear and the soul level peace become a mainstay of our life, because you will feel that soul fear as you annihilate old parts of you, and you will feel the peace of the alignment of being on a more correct path for you. And those are the two big categories. But of course, underneath there, there’s more nuance within those soul level emotions, but you can kind of break it down like that, essentially, that emotional compass is always going to point to your true soul level for fulfillment, expansion and evolution, and the whole realm of These two things coming the authentic life and your most evolved or your most expansive life is often. That’s where the rub is. That’s where our ego will tussle out with us on what do I have to accomplish to matter right? And living that authenticity from like. I have to have it, and then balancing that with what is your soul really need for expansion to make a difference, to make the ripple effect for real in the world, not a splash in the pan, but one that actually puts humanity on a different path of thought and a different path of consciousness. And what does that mean to you? Because any time that we prioritize a soul level feeling then and going, we know we’re gonna get more of that, that more expansion, the more evolution than all that, but sometimes that will involve looking at what we need to let go of as well. Over here, right? What can we let go of that makes more of an authentic life? So often it’s hard to tell at the beginning what that looks like, because we can’t parse out what’s the programming and what’s really me, right? And so so often, I think that’s why we have the two mechanism to play off each other, because one makes you question the other, and the other one informs the other, and it ends up being a loop where, over time, you get to refine, you know, what I was calling authentic. Let me edit that here from the fact that maybe I don’t need that. Maybe this part was here, maybe this rush was here. Maybe this component was here because I needed to feel better about myself. I can let that part go now. What does that look like now? And so while that is where the rub is, I’ll say what I always say is where the rub is is where the resources are gonna get pointed to go, and that’s where the progress is gonna happen. So it is just fine that we are all going to acknowledge that we have a rub between the two feelings the it’s not really two emotional compasses, it’s one, but it’s us figuring out the various components of it and making choices accordingly. Because the whole rub of it is, the whole key is that there isn’t a right way to do that for you, right? You are building and making that path unfold along with life. And so there’s, there’s no way for you to compare to a standard, right? There’s nothing, no comparison line for you to to base your walk off of, and that’s why it is okay that it is a tussle, because there’s nobody watching to be like that was the wrong step, that was the right step, that was the wrong set, that was the right step, right it all ends up just forming the path that has no comparison to it. So the authentic and the expanse of life can then come merge into one within you, and you get to actually live it, which is the best news ever. And of course, that’s what we all want around here. So I hope that was helpful, and helping you understand what’s going on with it within you, helping you understand what you feel, what that can do for you. And as always, if you have questions, just reach out to us at support, at becoming zesty.com, and in the show notes below, you can check out all of the links we have our NLP essential course, where you can get started with persuasion right away. It’s a very introductory price, so definitely check that out. If you are anybody that leads and you need to use your voice to persuade people to move people to action, absolutely, that is for you. And then reach out to us if you are interested in coming to our two day habit event or one of our seven day certifications. I’m sending you all so much love, and I’ll catch you on the next episode.