In this episode, Dr. Alex Golden discusses the growth of empathy despite global challenges, emphasizing awareness as its foundation. She highlights the role of leaders in guiding others through increased awareness and shares details about upcoming events in Dallas. Dr. Alex concludes with a call to action for listeners to share the podcast and support its mission of transformation.
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Transcript:
Hello. Everybody. Dr, Alex, here with you. I’m so glad that you’re joining us here on the podcast. Glad you’re here. We’re going to be talking about empathy and about human empathy in general, and I’m going to propose an idea of what I think is happening here. And by here I mean this world. So real quick, before I get into that, I just wanted to extend an invitation to our upcoming two day event. Is actually March 8 and ninth. There’s going to be a link in the show notes. And if you are available, no matter where you are, but especially if you are anywhere around the Dallas area that we’re going to be putting that on. So check that out in the show notes. It’s going to be amazing, jam packed. And if you know of anybody that is trying to do good in the world, like they have a good idea, and they are a good hearted human, but they need help executing on that, as in, how do I get out there? How do I actually get my message, heard all that, then send them our way? Because that is exactly who it’s for. All right, so let’s talk about empathy real quick. So the reason that I wanted to make this episode was because I feel like the narrative currently that I’m hearing a lot is in response to the fear from the things going on in the world. There’s this concern of is empathy gone now? And this is going to be a reassuring episode, because in my opinion, I think empathy, human empathy, is actually growing collectively, and I think we’re getting better in that regard. But it’s a little bit of a tricky look, and that is because when it comes to empathy, one of the cornerstones of empathy is awareness, right? And it’s not unlike when you need to cultivate or to utilize courage. It is defined by the presence of fear, right? Because if there’s no fear, you’re not worried about anything, then there’s certainly not a whole lot of need to be courageous, right? That’s kind of the whole point. And so when it comes to human empathy, whether individually or collectively, that is the same way as in you need to first establish and have an awareness of what is it that I’m even needing to be empathic about? Because in some ways, you know, we don’t stop and think about it. It can it can seem a little counterintuitive, because, you know, empathetic is basically like, did I spontaneously notice what needed to be empathized with, which is totally fine. However, when it comes to developing and deepening empathy, you know, without the awareness of Where’s me and where’s the them and how do we relate to each other? Like, where is the discrepancy where I would have to cultivate empathy for or and be empathetic to a situation of feeling a thought or an experience that is starts with awareness and without that, there really is no. Structure or no mechanism in which empathy can be applied, right? Because, so often, without that lack of without that awareness, you get into not empathy, but things like sympathy, things like pity, things like care taking, things like people pleasing, right? It kind of goes downhill a little bit rapidly, not that reassuring on that front. And so it’s like, what is the differentiator, if there’s just a whole bunch of doors, and I want to aim myself at the empathy one to help bring empathy more into the overall human experience, then it stands to reason that I better start with that first opportunity. And that first opportunity is increasing awareness. And so one of the things that I think is happening is that we are collectively as a society and individually increasing our awareness. And that is where I think that people are mistaken, mistaking this process happening, which is actually a healing process for the actual disease itself. It’s like looking at the fever and being like, oh, that, you know, the fever is the problem, as opposed to, I have a fever because I have an infection. And so that increase in awareness, while it can be uncomfortable, like a fever, is uncomfortable, the reality is that we can’t do it without that initial increase in awareness. And that is where I think the leaders can really step up and the good hearted folks, and that’s why we want to resource them as much as humanly possible. That’s why we want to do this thing. We have our events, all that stuff. In order to execute on that, the leaders have to keep people on the the right path, right and it is up to us also to kind of sound the alarm and shine the light to go, hey guys, come this way. Come this way because, yes, it is scary, increasing awareness without then getting to the next step. But how else are you going to walk that path? It’s like taking a drive and you’re using the GPS. You can’t just skip one of the roads, one of the turn offs and get in and teleport to the other one. If you could do that, you wouldn’t need a GPS. So really, the this is the same thing of, how can leaders, and I think that’s why leaders are always tracking ahead, is that? How can we let people know what’s down the line for them? Because I think that’s where, without mistakenly calling it something bad, of what’s happening if we call it something bad, we run the risk of getting off path and kind of self sabotaging ourselves collectively, and getting into a thing where, you know, we’re just like, Oh, we’re doing the wrong thing. Let’s do this. And instead of keeping the ball rolling to say awareness is an important part of this aspect, and how can I help people put one foot in front of the other, especially if I am someone that can sit and note the improvements that need to be made, and that is the kind of harsher pill to swallow, I think, for the leadership right now is that it is hard. It feels hard. There’s a lot of fear going on. There’s a lot of people freaking out. And so unfortunately, sometimes us as leaders get a little bit caught up. We we want to talk about both sides of our mouth, right? We want to say, Oh, look at all these things I can notice and how messed up the world is and how crazy people are acting, and all this stuff, and then be like, well, and it’s, you know, it’s getting better. It’s getting worse with no one’s empathetic, and therefore I don’t need to be empathetic either. Now that is valid honestly, the feelings that follow, and all that is valid, and I can logically follow that thinking, and I’ve certainly had that thought. The difference is, you know, is when we’re saying we’re leaders, is that, you know, while we can have that valid experience, we don’t need to end and kind of put our hat on and and live in that home in that experience right to say, okay, valid. That’s probably what the people I’m leading are also going to experience at some point. And then that’s where the real work starts. What can I do to help people with that experience? Now you’re actually both the leader and the person noticing what’s going on, right and doing something about it. It all works cohesively. Your brain will say, okay, yeah, I’m that kind of person. But when we mismatch things and we call things the wrong stuff. Or or inaccurately, see what a process, what process is happening, it becomes much more muddled for everybody involved. And that’s where, you know, we have to ask, do you think someone or something, or some force is coming to save the day. That is the reason why we can feel comfy as leaders being like, whatever someone else will take care of it. Because, while also valid, it’s one of those things where the leadership has to decide here and it’s, it has been and it is currently go time on, like, where are we really going to lead from, and where are we going to hang our hat? Because if we don’t do it, it becomes very difficult, right? If we run around going, everyone’s an unemphatic Asshole, okay, well, then what are the not leaders of the world going to do? What are they supposed to think and how reassured are they supposed to be about their personal struggles that they deal with? What ripple effect then are we creating, and what kind of energies are we cultivating? Because in my belief, and you know, depending on how you see it, you can consider what is the effect of not taking something seriously or not taking a responsibility for something that you said you wanted to be or do, because that sometimes is a good reminder where we’re like, oh, okay, any misunderstandings that I’ve had about why my life does or doesn’t look the way that I want. Sometimes this can be the invitation to refocus and say, Where else in my life do I need to come into more alignment, as in to say what’s not working in my life, how? How is it that, based on what I see other people struggle with? How does that help me, and then in helping my own life? How does it feed back into what I’m creating, what programs I’m teaching, when I’m putting out on social media? Right? It essentially ensures that your life will get better, and you will help the world, and you get, you know, get all that benefit back, and the people get better, and the whole world gets better. That’s the win, win, win that Megan and I talk about, and it’s so important to get because you being happy at the expense of other people. We already kind of all check that out in society and in history, and then other people being happy at the expense of you doesn’t work either, because it’s your world, and at the end of the day, when, when it’s your experience, right? My happiness just doesn’t do enough for you. So when we consider the win, win, win, and we move like it, then I think a lot of questions can get answered, and the ease and flow is more easily found because there’s when you think of in that alignment perspective, there is much more multitasking. Essentially, I do believe that is a much more efficient way of thinking and therefore a much more efficient way of living. So I hope this gave you lots of good food for thought. I would love to hear from you. Send us an email with any questions or any of the takeaways that you had, or even your own thoughts about what we’re talking about. Make sure to check out the event link in the show notes for the March event. There will also be a three day event in October coming up, so look out for that, and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye.