Swap I’m Too Busy For This

Dr. Alex Golden discusses the common experience of feeling busy and overwhelmed, and how prioritization is key for leaders to manage their time effectively.

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Podcast Transcript:

Dr. Alex Golden

Hello, Hello, Alex here with you. Welcome to the Becoming Zesty podcast. super glad that you’re here. Thank you for joining us. And thank you for listening along today, I’m going to be talking about being busy, which I’m sure everybody here can relate to. Also, I wanted to invite you to a class that we are putting on. So in November, we will pop a link in the show notes and be telling you about it more as it unfolds. But November 14, we are going to be doing a business class. And it is specifically on the topic of let’s just see if you relate to any of these experiences where you’re like really, I, you know, I want to grow, I’m here to do something big in the world, I want to have all these things. And then when it comes time to put yourself out there, like reach out to somebody or do a pitch or do a sales call or write a post it’s like and the fear gets really high. And then you end up kind of feeling a little split, no matter what happens after that, you probably can relate to that, or part of me really wants to be close to this person I want to open up but okay, so it feels really scary. So if you relate to any of those scenarios, or anything related, this class is for you. So check that out and keep an eye out for the 14th. And more info coming about that. All right. So let’s talk about being too busy. Now, this is something that is like a duck kind of topic, right? In our world. Everybody’s really busy. And by and large, we spend more of the time arguing about what to fill the time with, right? Like what do successful people do? What do effective people do? What do lazy people do, and we kind of look at the behavior is a lot, and then say this is a good behavior. This is a bad behavior. Now, obviously, Megan and I have a very different stance on it, and that leaders choose what they do. Right? They choose what their time and energy is used for, where they are headed, what they are working on, all of that stuff for leaders becomes a completely different conversation. So for a leader to be busy, cool, there can be lots to do. And as an actions to take that accomplishes something, but busyness as one of our good mentors, Jim Fortin used to always say overwhelm is busyness without prioritization. And to us that essentially, that statement gets at the heart of what it is for leaders. Busyness really comes back to priorities. And what was cool was I was just out and about in life, and I overheard a conversation and I heard someone say it was two friends. And this was just at a store. I don’t know these people, but I heard them talking and one of the ladies was talking about working out and how she didn’t have time. And then she paused and she said, Oh, well, it’s, I’m not too busy, is just not a priority. And I don’t like that is what she said. And I just, it actually took me a second to kind of click into what she was saying, but I was like, hmm, I wonder what would happen if we kind of use the exercise of saying instead of I’m too busy for and then fill in the blank, saying, it’s not a priority to fill in the blank with the exact same stuff. And so when I did it, right, it’s not a priority. I’m too busy to exercise. Honestly, that sounds very valid in my head. Just knowing what my life looks like I say it’s not a priority for me to exercise and like, Wait, that’s true, right? So what is this kind of thing doing? One people use it to beat themselves up all the time. And that’s not even close to the point of this, right? The whole point of swapping out wording like this, which is really why again, and I love teaching NLP and hypnosis and all that stuff that we certify people in those certifications with, is that what it does is highlight something that you think right, just a piece of awareness that you hold and shifting the spotlight from one area to another because I’m too busy spotlights the busyness outside of you. It’s not a priority to fill in the blanks puts the spotlight back where it belongs. Now. It may still be you know, what’s interesting is that I use that example. It’s not a priority for me to exercise is not a true statement. For me. What is a true statement for me is it’s not a high priority right now in this season of life to exercise. keep modifying it that on like, Oh, interesting. Now, that becomes a lot more accurate and a lot more clear. And a lot more empowering, right for me to acknowledge that something is normally higher on my priorities. But other things that are more important have superseded that for this season. And it’s not coming from a lack of awareness, or a I’m just being lazy, or I just forgot to think about it, or I don’t care about it. Right. And once I started laying that out, I realized the value of the of doing this as an exercise for ourselves, right? What does it tell us about ourselves when we have a response like that, right, for me to say, it’s not a priority for me to exercise, the way I felt the that I had when I tried that on as an extra as, as the exercise is an example. All of a sudden, that feeling right, the emotional response that I had that said, I don’t like that statement. Now. I like that a lot less, is actually telling me what it’s telling me something super important. It’s actually highlighting how much I believe whether I focus on it or not, that it is true, that movement, in some way is a priority for me. So when manga and I talk about using their emotional compass, this is really where we value and honor and respect the quote negative emotions just just as much as the positive. Now we all want to feel good. But really, if emotions are a way to orient ourselves, and they are the compass that we use, the fact that I didn’t like that statement said that there was some discrepancy there. And so for me to have a better understanding of other things are more important to me in this season of life right now. And I need to I am acknowledging that and that feels good, like in the opposite. That one felt good to be like, This is not a personality thing, right? Like I normally do more focused movement as in like, that is the goal. But these days because of other things going on as for movement within functionality, I’m like, I’ll walk there, I’ll carry this I’ll do this right, so active, but then it allows me to say, this is a choice that I’m making. And if that’s a choice that I’m making, are there other ways that I can find movement and activity within the things that I am prioritizing in this season of life? And when I did that, all these options came out right I can be returning phone calls, take a walk around On the blog, I can be folding laundry and do squats. While I’m doing that. I mean, there’s really so many ways that I can find it. That doesn’t involve me feeling bad about the past, being anxious of how I’m going to follow through on my future. But none, when this thing that I’m describing, none of that was necessary. It went all around there. So, and I thought, Wow, there’s so many times I could use this, right. And there’s so many things that people are doing that are making themselves to feel really pretty crummy about themselves, and how it is, and even when something is bringing awareness, but then we don’t like it. If we say Oh, because I don’t like it is bad, we once again, get ourselves a little bit off path. So with this, this was really an experiential kind of thing right there thinking about this probably won’t change your life in any way. But actually doing this as an extra isn’t really actually taking it seriously. Why don’t I try out some of the statements swapping, I’m too busy for it’s not a priority, without necessarily being like that statement then has to be 100%. True. But instead of jumping to that, and making it true, saying my emotional responses, what is it tell me? How can I work with that? What do I want instead? How can I modify this so that I do like it? And then finding ways to acknowledge whatever it is and and give yourself more of it? If you realize that something’s important to you? How can you account for it more? How can I have more of a presence. And maybe it’s as simple as I have a vision board that I made in Canva, for free, that’s just going to remind me of that, right? There is no outwardly action. That’s not the season. But here it is, the priority is still here, and it is represented in my world and my life. And I have a way to remember and keep it top of mind that this is something I want to come back to, right. This allows us to treat ourselves with so much more compassion, gentleness, and honestly, just more care. Because we can’t do every damage. Just because we think something is a priority does not mean that we can account for it today in this moment right now and exactly the way that we want to. So given that that’s the case, right? We need to be able to think with ourselves, talk to ourselves and negotiate with our own parts, to come up with something that’s really going to feel better in the moment and work for us better long term in terms of outcomes, right? Feelings first, they matter. But then outcomes, getting what you want, you deserve to have it and getting results matters is not just would be nice. Or some. Some people get results. No, we all deserve results. And as leaders, we get results, right? We fight to get the results that we are after, and we don’t give up until we do. So try that out. I’d love to hear from you. Check us check us out. There’s becoming zesty on Instagram. You can shoot us a DM there. And also support at becoming zesty.com is our email, shoot us an email because any stories or firsthand accounts or questions that you send in really meaningful to me, I really love continuing continuing to build on content as you all apply it. And certainly even some of you being willing to share what happened, what you ran up against what questions you have helps all of us get the help that we need, get the support and all work together. Alright, that’s it for today. I’m sending you lots of love. Have a great day. I’ll catch you next time.