What’s Reassuring About the Unknown?

Dr. Alex Golden discusses the concept of the unknown in personal growth and transformation, exploring the idea of reassurance in the unknown and whether it exists. She also emphasizes the importance of taking action and creating evidence to support beliefs, leading to further growth and self-discovery.

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Podcast Transcript:

Dr. Alex Golden

Hello there, welcome to the becoming zesty podcast. We are so glad that you’re here. Thank you for joining me today, Dr. Alex here. Today we’re gonna talk about reassurance and the unknown. And I love this topic because as we expand the destination that we end up reaching, and our self development journey and expansion as a being here always seems to end up in the unknown. And so as we help people and humans transform in at an accelerated pace, which is what all our programs are titled, right, the start is always transformation accelerator, and then there’s program and there’s foundations and essentials. And but the whole point is to help people do that as fast as possible so that we can all be living our goals and our dreams and leaving the legacies that we want and creating the fun and enjoyment and the things that we desire out in the world into actual physical creation that we’re living and breathing and taking part in. And as we do that, there seems to always be the, the nearing of the unknown for people as in, there’s in the beginning, people are really seeking certainty. And they are seeking to know they are powerful to know their own empowerment and know that they can make choices and that a lot of life does come down to choice and all of those realities. But as you move forward, and that was very interesting is that most people begin to talk about the unknown. So I wanted to start a little bit of that discussion here on the podcast, because it’s a very interesting thing to think about. And one of the sticking points when it comes to the unknown is this question of reassurance that we find in the unknown? And how to actually do that when we’re talking about the unknown, right? Is it just in the name itself? Does it describes the problem that we all have with it? And in some ways people will make the argument that there is no reassurance in the unknown, that it does not exist, because that is the definition of the unknown. And today, I would like to make the argument that I disagree with them. So that’s what we’re going to talk about. I also briefly wanted to mention that currently we are in the process of starting to enroll affiliates for our two day habit transformation retreat in January, which will take place in Virginia Beach, and it happens twice a year. So stay tuned. But it is a national event people fly in and yeah, it is a very low cost event. It is really our business is us participating in it which is the law of reciprocity of life. And it is our acknowledgement that habits are such a big deal out in the world. On that we wanted to have a transformation event that was bite size, it’s still fairly intense, because that’s how we do things, it’s two full days, it will transform the habits that you have, and it will help get you on track with where you want to go. And it starts out at 197. And if you bring a buddy, it’s split for now. And as, as the time goes on, as the months go on, we’ll be updating you as you know, as we get closer, the price will go up. But if you have a business, affiliate marketing is something that upfront, Megan, and I, really, we really value, because we learn so much about our own launches, by accelerating the learning process by launching with other people as affiliates for them, because it’s always so much easier to pitch other someone else’s stuff, and especially when they set up the offer as kind of a no brainer of like, two full days and a whole transformation event and all this stuff and you pay 197 People are like, okay, that, like really, it’s mostly kind of like what’s the catch, it’s a no brainer offer. And that’s exactly what how we designed it to be. And so with that we we always invite whoever wants to come along, if you want to be a part of this event, there’s lots of really cool things that you can win as a as an affiliate, for one, it is 75% for the affiliates. So you get most of what we get off the ticket anyways. And then the person that brings in the most people, the winner of the affiliates, then wins an extra $1,000. So on top of, if you’re if you’re winning already, it means you’re making money to begin with, and then we’ll just give you more money for discus. So that is cool. And then for the affiliate, we’re also incentivizing working together, because one of the coolest parts of our community is that the people that are around XSD, and come to the trainings and our events and do our programs, they believe in coming together in community and that and they believe in working together to make the world a better place. So it’s the time to work together to like, share, share each other on each other’s podcast, to collaborate on social media to put programs together and the stuff that they have done is amazing in person, online, all sorts of stuff. And so we incentivize that. And we just say any affiliates that bring in people to to the event, then if we reach 50, collaboratively from the affiliates, we will have an ask us anything brunch. So that’s part of the event. And those those kinds of reward, it’s very few and far between that you get just unfiltered, timed as whatever it is that you want and pick someone’s brain, it’s virtually unheard of now that everyone’s caught on to let me take you out for coffee and pick your brain, right? It’s really, it’s really something that we have all agreed we’re not going to do. But that’s why we were like, yeah, come get it. Because it’s a lot of fun. And we are honest and transparent. And we answer questions. And so that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. It’s gonna be a really good time, it’s going to be a very powerful collaborative experience. And we’d love for you to be a part of it. So come on over, shoot us an email support at becomings sc.com. Let us know if you want to be an affiliate. Alright, so let’s get into this whole unknown business. When it oh, shoot, sorry. Nevermind. I did want to invite there’s going to be a masterclass that we’re teaching November 14, it is a parts in business masterclass. And that is, what does that mean? What that means is that if you ever feel conflicted in your life, and I want to help the world, I want to make a better place, I have things to say. But I’m also terrified. And a part of me wants to connect with people and be close to them and be vulnerable. And a part of me is terrified to actually do that. And a part of me wants to make money and be successful. And a part of me feels like I’m not good enough for that. And that money is going to just create more work for me and that’s it’s not worth the trade off. I’ll lose my freedom. If any of that rings true for you, you definitely want to come to this masterclass. So, there’s gonna be a link in the show notes and check that out. We’ll continue talking about that but parts and business if you can get a hold of that and and really make sure that you have your empowerment on in that sector of your life and have a process for integration and have a process for continuing to identify these parts of you moving forward intentionally so that you You can accomplish your dreams and your goals and your desires as fast as you want to. This is going to be crucial for you. So definitely check that out. Alright, so now I’m For Real about talking about the unknown. So what’s this whole business about no reassurance in the unknown? In some ways, I actually totally agree with the statement of there really is no, right. It’s kind of like the seeking certainty in the unknown of life, right? We can say, I’m going to make the most out of my life. But we don’t know when that time the certainty of how long we have to do that in is not there. Right. And so in some ways, I do understand that life lifing and that we are in a collaborative game. It’s not really a game process, I suppose. In that there are some things that we can have control and purview over. And there’s some things that are not under our direct control in life like that, right. And so when it comes to reassurance, the argument that I do agree with is that in the absolute sense, there’s nothing concrete that we will all agree on counts as reassurance in the unknown. And I think that part is true. So I think that what people feel like their desire for Maria assurance is agreement, inner agreement within them as in, do all the parts of them that believe all the different things and experience different things and express different things within each of us. Are they reassured by what we’re thinking about the unknown? Right? Can they come into agreement with it? And then also, will someone echo that agreement? And another way to say that is do we have people out in the world that will cosign for us. And of course, the CO signing power is only really as beneficial as we have assigned their power to be right, if they hold a lot of power, their reassurance or their CO signing of whatever we’re thinking might be temporarily helpful. But if they ever changed their mind, and which, you know, is super annoying, when people just people away from what’s convenient for us, and they just go off doing their thing, like they have the freewill to do but we just asked so often forget that that’s true, then all of a sudden, we’re unstable. Right? And so often we are looking for that absolute and I think that is at the heart of it, what people are talking about when they’re saying there is no reassurance because there is no concrete that everybody across all time and space and dimensions and how they grew up and societal pressures and all of that, we’ll look at that and and agree to the same thing like statements like the unknown, I am protected in the unknown, because I have control over my my life. Right? That statement may be super true for you. And there may be people who have signed off on that they hold a lot of power in your world, and their CO signing means a lot to you. And you find emotional security in that. But that still is not an absolute, that everybody in the world is going to agree with you on someone’s gonna come along and go Well, what if you? What if you don’t pick the right thing? What if you don’t have your back? What if that doesn’t work like that? What if? What if? What if, what if, and that argument all of a sudden, right? They’re going to say the things that your mental Gremlins might be saying? Which is exactly where, you know, I’m taking this podcast episode as my argument is that the thing that people really feel most reassured by is finding inner congruence within all of our parts, and all of the aspects of ourselves on a topic about the unknown, and how we are going to choose to think about the role that we play in our life and CO creating with the universe and what intentions that the universe or God has for us. And it you know, is this world good overall good? Is it 5050 mix bag does good ultimately triumph, but you know, we’re just figuring that out in real time, right? Whatever it is. The reassurance that we’re looking for about the unknown, is actually a congruence of all the different parts of ourselves. agreeing to what we’re going to believe. Because when other people speak, that unity is what has answered our own mental Gremlins already to come to that unification of what you believe about the unknown and the role that you play in it. And all the other moving parts as How does life unfold? That is what will continue to that tussling of the mental Gremlins, that you know, those doubts that you hear yourself saying, like, what if that’s not true? What if that’s just wishful thinking in my own head? What if I’m just being like, overly positive, and the reality quote, whatever that means is actually way worse than that. Right? In going through that, that kind conversation with the mental Gremlins is actually what I’ll argue is the exact same conversation that we hear when someone in our own life is going off on something and we’re like, Oh, my God, what they’re saying is triggering me so freakin bad. It’s just like, you know, discombobulating my brain because I was on track. And now this person seems to be saying, like, the most annoying things, right? And, and so often we blame the other person, right? We’re like, they’re negative, they weren’t supportive of me, they didn’t see it my way. And we and we start to get our feelings looped into a narrative that, you know, maybe true, I have no idea of what’s going on in your life like that. But it may not be true, right? Because sometimes what it is, is that they can’t say enough about that lack of absolute, that will soothe your internal mental Gremlins, right? Because if your own parts, agree with them, you can’t protect the inside parts of yourself from yourself, you’re all in there, right? You’re already in the bottle with the parts. So you’re testing in anyways, you could get rid of that person, they could not be in your face, they could You could set boundaries around what they say. But it’s in you already. It’s like those, those 90s horror movies where it’s like, oh my god, the murders in the building. And that’s like the major plot was, I mean, that’s actually kind of how it is with the mental Gremlins, like the mental Gremlins inside the thing already. So it just feels really triggering when someone else is saying that outside in the world. And that is why we get so spun up about stuff. But as we have that discussion and really think through the answer to it is pretty out there in the open, right? Because the answer is saying if you’ve had these negotiations within yourself, if you’ve discussed these with your own person said what do I believe? What do I want to believe what’s like an authentic to me version statement, not overly florally. Like the, the angels are watching over me in the unicorns are making sure that my life has guided and all of love and light and rainbows blow out my butt like there is absolutely, if you don’t actually believe that it will never help in that moment, it’ll just seem farther away. And the mental Gremlins will just seem like they’re ruining your love and light parade that much harder. And you’ll be that much more emotionally ramped up about it. But it’s because you’re pissed, because it’s not authentic. Your own self as being like, that sounds like BS, right? And Down you go when someone pokes the house of cards that you just created for yourself in that story. And I used to do that, because I really relate to the desire to do that. Because the way people speak love, like it could be this. And this is what the universe and God could be like. That all sounds great. But the question is, are you there are is your faith? And is your power? And is your belief structure and the all the beliefs that were together? Are they set up to be there? Or do you need more time to prove some things to yourself and get more evidence and chew on these topics? I mean, these are big things. You’re not going to take a weekend to figure out how you feel about God. Maybe Maybe you will, I don’t know. I hate to put limitations and lack on people. But most people that I talk to Don’t tell me that they do it. And and we talk to a lot of people. But what we can do is begin to spend more intentional time deciding, at least for now, how we would like to find that reassurance within ourselves. And to say, this is not a structure that I have to keep for the rest of my life, we don’t have to get to a more authentic belief that says, I think there’s, maybe I think life is a mixed bag. And I am here to find the good in it and spread the love even while acknowledging the stuff I don’t like. And that’s where you’re at, and that feels congruent and authentic. And that brings wholeness within your being. Then at that point, that’s the power that you will build that becomes a springboard for the next decision, as your expansion grows, and you begin to experience it in your own personal power that’s unified, then what happens is that you get to read aside. So as you begin to see a glimpse of a better belief of possibility, then what happens and he’s just telling you from the other side, and come, you know, I’m shining the light come this way, what happens, you start to get kind of the possibility of like, if you do this, you might see if that’s true or not, you take the action, and you’ve seen what happens, you begin to create your own evidence. So you start answering your own questions in a way that satisfies your own curiosity and provides a your own reassurance. So as you do that, then the next thing comes into focus, the next question begins to be clearer. And you begin to then say, Could I believe this? And then as you begin to do the next steps, then you begin to think, oh, I can because now this happened. And I can always point to that. I can use that to feel good about taking this next step. And oh, look, what happened was, now I have two pieces of evidence that that worked well for me. Now I’m moving forward, right? The path unfolds as you walk it just the same way that the white lines on the road appear as you keep driving in the dark, you don’t you know, they’re there. But the question is, do you right, that’s the belief is that you’ve seen enough painted streets to know that they’re down there. Now I’m pitching to you, how many streets? Are you willing to go down and look during the day right, intentionally driving around doing this work, to having these negotiations with your mental gremlins? Looking into this stuff, taking those next steps? As you do that work? That’s exactly the evidence that I’m talking about. So you don’t have to sit here listening to podcasts taking my word for it, about what’s true about the universe and about God and about you. And then and in fact, I would, I would say, don’t take my word for it. I mean, don’t take anybody’s word for it. Maybe if you really, really, really trust them, you really believe Yeah, sure, we can start to but at the end of the day, you don’t it’s not a requirement that you take somebody’s word, you can generate and explore your own faith in the way that you need to, to prove it to yourself. And that is actually what feels like reassurance, right, we all know, on some level, that the unknown is there. And we don’t know what’s coming all the time for us. And that we only have some say over what we create, we have a lot to say. It’s still not 100%. And if you figure it out, otherwise, email let me know, I want to know how you did it. But even though you know that what ends up happening is that reassurance you begin to relax into it, because you really you’re relaxing into yourself, being able to withstand handling, whatever comes up. And I like that the process of getting there necessitates that you learn and grow in the ways that you need to in order to be able to do that. It’s the bumper Lane phenomenon, right? The the, quote problems that we tell so with as we go along this path, redirect us back to the center of the lane, just like the bumper lanes route, bouncing off those redirects to towards the middle and towards the pins of the end. So it’s so it’s actually a reassuring part that a belief that I hold that thing, goodness, it works like that, because when I put one foot in front of the other, at least that belief, the unity that I feel in believing that it really does has worked for me, it really does. I put one foot in front and another now in much more of an excited way. And that just unfolded for me. I never started out like that that was not what I who I was programmed to be. And that’s not how I was taught to think and live as a kid or as an adult. But me got me there. And that’s such a powerful thing, right? Whenever we can find an area of life where it’s like, no one can change this part. For me, this is just a Me and Me endeavor. Oh, my goodness, I’m so grateful for those aspects of life. Because I can make as fast progress as I want. And really, no one can do anything about it. And or impact me in any way at all. And that just feels so cool, right? Of all the things that can happen to us. This is not one of the things that we are at Mercy at. So I urge you to head this way in the process, even if you’re like, I don’t really know what you’re talking about. But it sounds good. Cool. You don’t even have to I didn’t, I sure didn’t know what I was doing when I was kind of starting this work. But I’m hoping that breaking it down like this is helping you find the confidence to just start and to start getting that feedback and generating your own evidence and turning the your life into something where you’re like, I’ll, I’ll believe when I get there. Like when I interact with it. And when I get myself there, my belief will be shored up, I don’t have to, I don’t have to buy anything from anybody else. I don’t have to contort myself into anybody else’s view of the world. This is something that I get to do on my own. And if you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear about it support at becoming xsc.com Shoot us an email, I would love, love, love to hear about what you experienced during this work, what has happened for you along the way. And of course, tag us screenshot this episode. Or if you just share a story or something, just tag us and we will be sure to watch and I like creating episodes around what you all do with his content. So when you tag me, it really really means a lot to me because it shows me what the questions are what people are getting stuck on how I can help you all move forward as fast as possible. So please, anytime that you think of it, just go ahead and tag us, email us DMS, whatever, just reach out and I’d love to hear from you. So thank you for joining me today I’m sending you lots of love.